Understanding the shadow is complex. The way the shadow shows up in each of us is unique. One thing we all have in common is that we all have a shadow, a dark side, an unconscious way of thinking and being that runs in the background of our lives. It’s a part of who we are individually, generationally and collectively. There is no way around this. It is something that has to be acknowledged, embraced and healed in order for you to have a complete understanding of how your shadow shows up in your life.
Many people believe that the shadow is an obvious part of your personality, that it is easily seen, but that’s not true always the case. Many times, your shadow side may not be on display consciously. You may not even be aware that you are acting in your shadow but it does show up and is one of the main determining factors of your perspective and experiences in life.
Even if you feel that you have had a good life with little trauma shadows are still present. The reason why is because even if you had no shadows of your own, your parents had shadows and their parents had shadows. Their shadow traits, thoughts and/or behaviors are passed on to you. Everyone has a shadow, so everyone needs to do shadow work. Unlike now, where healing, spirituality, therapy, mental and emotional health is an everyday conversation, in generations past they didn’t have the ability to explore or even be aware of how the mind and shadow affect us.
You may have observed particular behaviors of your parents that were a part of their shadow but you thought that was them just being themselves. Little did you know the behaviors, words or actions you saw displayed in your parent was an unconscious behavior that they learned in their own life experience. They could have picked it up due to a trauma they experienced, a coping mechanism, a thought pattern they learned from a parent or someone else and so much more.
For example, let’s say your mother taught you that people can’t be trusted. As you grow through life, you have a relatively good life experience but, you always keep in the back of your mind what your mother told you, people can not be trusted. You become very skeptical of anyone you meet. Your heart is guarded and you lookout for reasons why the person you encounter can’t be trusted. You begin to have issues with friendships and romantic relationships because from the time you met the person(s) you had in the back of your mind that people can’t be trusted.
You can’t figure out why you have trust issues but you do. You can’t meet anyone without being suspicious of them. You constantly meet people who prove they can not be trusted which further solidifies what your mother told you even though you can’t consciously remember her telling you people can’t be trusted. This statement has dictated your beliefs and actions towards other people.
This is an example of a thought planted into you by your mother that became a part of your unconscious behavioral thought. Your mother told you this statement and it became engrained in your unconscious mind causing you to believe that you can’t trust people. As you believe this, you immediately believe everyone you meet has another motive so there’s never a chance for anyone you meet to have a trusting relationship with you. This belief causes issues in every relationship you have but because it’s a shadow you aren’t aware of what the issue is.
You may say well, I’m glad my mother told me that because all the people I’ve met couldn’t be trusted. While this may be true there is another side to this. Whatever you believe to be true, will be true. When you have a core belief that people can not be trusted, the Universe will send people to you, that can not be trusted. It’s how the Universe and your thoughts or assumptions work together to turn your beliefs, thoughts and perceptions into the reality you experience. It doesn’t matter what the belief is, what you think, believe and perceive will be what you experience. This is a Universal Law called the Law of Correspondence. If the Law of Correspondence is new to you, you can learn more about it here.
Even though your mother was well meaning when she told you that people can not be trusted, that statement carried on through your life and now became a part of your unconscious shadow. This is just one example of how shadows can occur and show up in your life.
Since shadows come from not only our experiences but experiences, thoughts, actions and behaviors that are passed down, everyone has a shadow and everyone needs to do shadow work. If you feel that you don’t have any shadows to work on I highly encourage you to go within and begin to ask for your shadows to be shown and they will reveal themselves to you. This can be challenging for some people to hear and accept, but when you’re at the place of being able to embrace your shadow self, you can then begin the healing process that allows you to integrate all of who you are, as you understand yourself in a deeper way.
For those that have experienced mental, physical or emotional trauma of any form, it’s especially important for you to heal your shadows. Those types of experiences change the essence of who you are if they are left unhealed. They have the potential to impact generations to come which makes it even more important for you to heal that side of yourself. You may have gone to therapy, and that’s great however, you must sit with yourself and explore within to get to the root of your shadow experiences and heal holistically.
All healing and change happens internally. This is how you heal your soul.
As you begin to do your shadow work many areas of your life will begin to make sense. You’ll find yourself able to connect the dots of past experiences. You’ll be able to release traumas that you’ve carried. You’ll find forgiveness for yourself and others. You will love and value yourself at a level you never thought was possible which carries over into your external world.
All it takes is the desire to see yourself for who you are, acknowledging your shadow and having the will to heal. You can do this. I’m here if you need me.
Love,
Ashley
