Get Comfortable With Your Light & Dark Side – You Need Them Both

Hey everybody. This isn’t the message I planned to put out next, but I had a dream about this and so I need to discuss it with you all before we start getting into specific areas of trauma, healing, inner work, and shadow work. I need you to know that in all of us there is a light side and a dark side, a light and a shadow, a higher and a lower. What I would like for you to start to understand and embrace is that the shadow or dark side is often talked about in a negative way. For many of us who have experienced some sort of trauma, especially if it’s been a lifelong theme, that shadow side helped you.

I know people like to paint the picture of, “Oh, this person’s bad, that person’s bad, this and that.” Well, you don’t know why people do what they do. A lot of times, people with a whole lot of trauma can be very harsh on themselves. I know, because I was, and I still work at not judging myself so harshly at times. We can be very harsh on ourselves and think back on things we did and wonder, “Why did I do that?” or “I wish this side of myself wasn’t here” or “I wish I didn’t have these thoughts.” But I want you to know before we go any further that a lot of those shadow aspects of yourself helped you, especially in the really dark and low times. Some of them protected you. Those actions, words, thoughts, and ways came to you to help you survive.

I want you to work on forgiving and letting go of so much of the self-condemnation when it comes to that, because at the time, you had various reasons for doing what you did. I know that—I’m speaking from experience. I will tell you just point blank, so you know who you are hearing from, that I love all sides of myself. I love my light and I love my dark. I love my light and I love my shadow. I really, really do. I’m grateful for the sides of me that protected me through all of the things I’ve experienced, and I want you to get to a place where you do, too. I love to have fun; I love the pleasures in life. I have processed and gone through different scenarios of things that I’ve experienced and been like, “Damn, did I really have to do that?” But at the time, yes, I did.

The overall message with this is to let you know that even as you begin healing, the shadow side doesn’t go away. Just like the trauma doesn’t go away. It just has to be addressed and processed. We have emotions attached to these events in our lives that need to be addressed, not repressed. They have to be worked through and processed. Then these experiences can be integrated so that you have a holistic view and understanding of your journey and a way to frame it and to see it from a different perspective, a different set of eyes, a different viewpoint. All of that happens as you accept what is or what has happened and not put yourself down so much.

For whoever this message is for, we all need to hear it. Those of us working on mental healing and those who are just beginning to face your trauma—you need to know this. That side is not going to go away. You just have to learn how to work with and integrate it so that it’s not causing you harm or distress, or having you act out in ways that aren’t best for you at this phase. If you’re listening to me, you’re at a different point in your life. You’re not running or avoiding; you are facing. In order to do any type of mental and emotional healing, you have to face what’s gone on. It’s a work in progress. I didn’t get to the point overnight where I could just say, “I’m cool with my shadow side.” It’s a result of doing the work. I hope this helps someone out there, and I will speak with you all in the next one. Be well.